Why grow up… Where is the lucky little girl that wanted to be big? Where did my childhood go?
I look in the photos and see a happy little girl, I know it once where me, but where is she? Is happiness something that expire? Mine did, as did my childhood, best before 1983. Sometimes I wonder why – but its always the same answer. Its the same answer that looks back at me in the mirror everyday.
I feel like its my punishment. I once was “Daddy’s girl”, and then just like that he didn’t want me or need me anymore. But how can I change that, i am still the same. The little girl looking like her daddy, being like her daddy. Is that my punishment for him not wanting me.
Its 25 years ago, why do I still feel like the little 8 year old that lost her daddy. Some times I wish he had died instead, would made it all easier to have a grave to mourn at. But i have to live with the knowledge that he is alive and just don’t care enough to know me.
Is this why my life can’t be normal, and I cant do things or trust people. How can someone do that to a child? Divorce, is a form of child abuse.
