July 9, 2008 at 3:49 pm (Friendship, Loneliness, Love, Relationship, hurt)
Tags: Love, waiting
I feel like I’m dead when your not here.
When I can’t talk to you or be with you.
All I can do is dream about you.
Hugging you and talking to you
My heart feels likes it’s dying,
when your not around to talk to it.
All I can do to stop crying,
is waiting for you.
I can’t live like this, all I do is think of you. First thing in the morning to the last thing at nigth. And your not here with me. In my dreams your here to hug me and keep me safe, then i wake up and the real nightmare starts, another day without you.
I just wanna hug you and hold you and never let you go. But I have to wait. I can’t stand waiting. Being scared and worried and sad. cause all I can think about is you and your not here.
I love you.
I miss you.
I am yours.
And one day you will be here and mine.
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March 26, 2008 at 9:41 am (Friendship, Loneliness, Relationship, Trust)
Tags: friends, friendship. relationship
They say true friends don’t cost anything. They say true friends conquer everything. They say say true friends is for everyone to find.
Are there anyone left? Have all the True Friends been used up and disposed of?
You say you want to only want to be my friend, and you don’t want to hurt me or push me or make me do anything against my will.
So why are you trying to own me and rule me? You cant be my friend, if all you want is to change me and make me something I’m not.
If you want a friend – a true friend. You have to accept them as they are and respect the fact that they are different and unique.
But what do you do? You pick on me and try to change me to please you. And for you to get your will. And all to make you happy.
How can I be your friend? If the price is all mine, my happiness and my sanity? Friends don’t own each other, they respect each other. I might be lonely and sad, but don’t think I’m so desperate that I will let you own me.
If your my friend, you respect me.
If your my friend, you like me for who I am.
If your my friend, you don’t dictate me.
If your my friend, you don’t try to own me.
If your my friend, you don’t insult me and call me names.
If your my friend, you have patience with me.
That’s to much to ask? Maybe? But its the truth. I give you a second chance and you only hurt me again. I am always willing to believe that people can like me and maybe one day someone will, but what’s the price? What do friendship cost? Its not all that free…
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March 5, 2008 at 5:56 am (Friendship, Harassment, Relationship, Trust, hurt)
Tags: Harassment, humiliation, hurt, Trust
Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but words
can never hurt me.
What idiot said that? A broken bone will heal.
But I don’t think my heart and my trust ever will.
But it is funny, just laugh it away. I can’t. Ok so I am weak and I am pathetic, but thats me. And you make fun of me like my weaknesses is a toy for you to play with.
Break my bones, and I’ll be back running soon. Break my heart and break my trust, and you know your beaten me forever.
Most be so much more fun to humiliate and ruin some ones life,
than just break a bone.
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February 27, 2008 at 2:53 pm (Friendship, Love, Men, Relationship)
Tags: life, Love, personality, Relationship, rules
Who am I? What am I? Will I ever find out?
Who am I?
I’m 34, and an adult woman you would say.
So how can I be lost and don’t know?
I live alone and have my freedom, and own will.
So how can I be lost and don’t know?
What am I?
I might be someones daughter,
I might be someones ex-wife,
I might me someones sister,
but what am I?
Will I ever find out?
No one ever asked me or wanted to know me. Do this, do that, and you will have fun. Why is it fun? Cause you said so?
How about me? What about what I want and I like? Do anyone care?
Always getting told what to do. And how to do it. Being told whats fun, and whats proper, and whats normal. That’s not how life is suppose to be.
Do you want a girlfriend that’s independent and fun and energetic? Or do you want a well trained dog, that you can tell what to do.
I don’t know who I am, or what I am. You never let me find out, do this and do that. How could you love me, when you wanted to change everything about me?
I am someone. Not just a daughter, a sister or a ex-wife. I’m me. I don’t know who that is yet, but I hope I can find it out soon.
If you wanna be my friend or more, you have to like me as I am … I’m not a doll or a dog, you can’t make me something I’m not.
I’m ME – live with it or get lost.
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February 21, 2008 at 2:17 am (Friendship, Relationship)
Tags: aquaintances, disapointment, friends, hurt
Thats a hard thing to figure out. Someone comes and say they wanna be your friend, but they only want you when they need you. If you need a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry one or maybe just a hug. Then they are always busy. And when your not needed anymore or they figured out they found something better, your thrown away like garbage.
Why is friendship becoming a consumable? Something you use and throw away when you get a new, like a monthly magazine. Future feature; “Subscribe to our friendship service - you get a new fresh friend every 4th week”.
And if your someones friend why dont they tell you if something is wrong, not just avoid you. Cause maybe your not that much of a friend to them, they dont care cause they dont need you at that time …
I cant do this game. I cant be a friend on demand, and then put away again after use. I want you and need you to be my friend, but out friendship has to mean something to you too. Its not a one way thing.
Friends? Or aquaintances? What shall it be?
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February 17, 2008 at 4:46 am (Friendship, Relationship, Trust)
Tags: abuse, friends, hurt, loyalty, relationtionship, Trust
How can I trust anyone? When all you do is backstabb me? I let you hurt me again and again and again, and I forgive you and believe you … And every time it goes a few days or a few weeks, and you hurt me again. your stories always sounds good and your excuses is hard to crack… But I always end up getting the feeling your lying to me. It hurts to know I think your a friend, and you say you are, but you never act like it is true.
How can I trust you? You break your promises. You are a liar. You hide the truth to just end up hurting me even more. You avoid me and ignore me, until you think i forgotten and are in a forgiving mood. Why cant you see that this is why I don’t trust you, and you are ruining me and my life. If you are my friend and you say you are, and i cant even trust you how can i trust anyone ever again.
Every time you break a promise you break a part of my heart and my trust … You and the others have shattered my heart by now … It’s soon nothing left and you can’t just go get a new and start again.
I’m cold and distant and you think I’m to much work to bother getting close to … maybe you have a cure for my heart and my trust, if only your honest and kind. I’m not outgoing and social. I’m not cheerful and happy. All I get told is that I’m to bitch and harsh. I joke and I insult you, not cause I mean it, but to beat you to it. It’s better you mad at me for being rude, than that you get close enough to hurt me. I might loose you that way, but its better to loose you than to let you hurt me. If you was “for real” you would understand it and see it and stay …. but no one do.
And neither did you …
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February 16, 2008 at 12:49 am (Friendship, Relationship)
Tags: abuse, friends, hurt, loyalty, relationtionship, Trust
Why do you hate me?
Why do I never fit in?
Why is all I do always wrong?
Why is everything going wrong?
Why do everyone lie?
Why? Why? Why? Why?
That’s always it. Why?
Everything is always why. And no matter what, no one will never answer you on that. How can you ever fix whats wrong if no one will answer any of your questions?
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