Cute and Hated

I feel like I’m dead when your not here.
When I can’t talk to you or be with you.
All I can do is dream about you.
Hugging you and talking to you

My heart feels likes it’s dying,
when your not around to talk to it.
All I can do to stop crying,
is waiting for you.

I can’t live like this, all I do is think of you. First thing in the morning to the last thing at nigth. And your not here with me. In my dreams your here to hug me and keep me safe, then i wake up and the real nightmare starts, another day without you.
I just wanna hug you and hold you and never let you go. But I have to wait. I can’t stand waiting. Being scared and worried and sad. cause all I can think about is you and your not here.
 
I love you.
I miss you.
I am yours. 

And one day you will be here and mine.

How can you hate me? You don’t know, you don’t know who I am or how I am. You just hate me cause you’re a condescending bitch that decided that all other females are whores and out to hurt you or steal your guy.
You are the looser and the bitch, and your the one with a pathetic life that has to ruin others to have fun.
But how can you hate me or despite me for the only thing I done wrong is being born female. And your so petty and unsure of your own pathetic little you that you have to dictate peoples life’s and pick who your husband or boyfriend get to talk to. Cause ofc all girls are whores, like you maybe, that’s only out to get laid.

But what a pathetic life - you must have a lot of issues.

I hope all your guys turn gays …. since you don’t let them talk to girls or females. I hope they cheat on you with a guy instead just to fuck up your pathetic little mind even more.

Cause your the true losers. You cant see what you have and treasure it so you abuse it and end up more or less harassing and make your family prisoners. Until you one they loose them anyway, with out cheating on you. Just cause the prison life got to much.

I pitty you, you hate me. You make me wanna hate you - but all you deserve is pitty…

Brain-power measured in inches?
Is the male brain measured in inches? And hidden in the pants for safe keeping?

You think you found a nice guy and one that is normal, but sooner or later it gets down to the inches.
Who cares if your “family jewels” are huge, if you act like an asswhole  its not like you ever will get the chance to use them. Or is playing solo satisfying enough? I hope so for a lot of men, cause there is to many lost causes.
And 9 or 10 inches, so what its probably never been used. Just like your brains never been used. And good for you, your hung like a horse and have the mind of a donkey. Both located in your pants. Stop bothering me and get a job as a prostitute.

Learn to use your brain and respect females. We are more than sex toys and we like a guy with a working brain, not just “10 inches”. Who cares if your good in bed, if you bored your girl to death before you get there.

My heart is yours,
if you want it.
My life is yours,
to share.
My mind is mine,
but it loves you.

My loyalty is yours,
to trust.
My trust is yours,
to depend on.
My mind is mine,
but it loves you.

—
I know you will never be mine, but that don’t change anything.
Or maybe one day…

They say true friends don’t cost anything. They say true friends conquer everything. They say say true friends is for everyone to find.
Are there anyone left? Have all the True Friends been used up and disposed of?

You say you want to only want to be my friend, and you don’t want to hurt me or push me or make me do anything against my will.
So why are you trying to own me and rule me? You cant be my friend, if all you want is to change me and make me something I’m not.
If you want a friend - a true friend. You have to accept them as they are and respect the fact that they are different and unique.
But what do you do? You pick on me and try to change me to please you. And for you to get your will. And all to make you happy.

How can I be your friend? If the price is all mine, my happiness and my sanity? Friends don’t own each other, they respect each other. I might be lonely and sad, but don’t think I’m so desperate that I will let you own me.
If your my friend, you respect me.
If your my friend, you like me for who I am.
If your my friend, you don’t dictate me.
If your my friend, you don’t try to own me.
If your my friend, you don’t insult me and call me names.
If your my friend, you have patience with me.

That’s to much to ask? Maybe? But its the truth. I give you a second chance and you only hurt me again. I am always willing to believe that people can like me and maybe one day someone will, but what’s the price? What do friendship cost? Its not all that free…

Hug me. please. Hold me, save me.
I long for you to touch me and comfort me,
I cant wait to be safe on your arms.

I need you, to love me, care for me and hold me.
All I can think about is being close to you and safe.

But you dont want me or cant find me. Or even never bothered looking. 
Please, I need you. I cant do this alone.  

Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but words
can never hurt me.

What idiot said that? A broken bone will heal.
But I don’t think my heart and my trust ever will.
But it is funny, just laugh it away. I can’t. Ok so I am weak and I am pathetic, but thats me. And you make fun of me like my weaknesses is a toy for you to play with.

Break my bones, and I’ll be back running soon. Break my heart and break my trust, and you know your beaten me forever.
Most be so much more fun to humiliate and ruin some ones life,
than just break a bone.

You are perfect,
You are the favorite,
you are the star,
you are two.

You are loved,
You are a boy,
you are a joy,
you are two.

You are lost,
You are missed,
you are dead,
you are two.

You the first born,
the boy,
the star
and the joy.
You the perfect kid,
your the best they seen.

But you where 2 year’s old.

You will always be 2,
and still my big brother.
You will always be 2,
and still be number one.
You will always be 2,
and still i have to fight you.

I can’t cry for you,
I can’t mourn for you.
I never met you.
I just spent my whole life in your shadow.

How can I hate you,
you are my brother.
But have can I not hate you,
you stole my life.

I will never be you,
I will never be the perfect one.
I will never know the love you had.

They gave you all,
and you died.
They gave me the rest,
and I lived.

My life, the fight,
to measure up to a 2 year old.

You died to young,
you died to soon,
you died before I ever got born.

To my big brother.
To my dead brother.

To my mum,
you are still real.
To me,
you are a stone at the graveyard.

You the picture on the wall.
you are the name they want to call.
You are their one and all.

How can I fight this fight,
how can I win this fight.

I can’t. I lost. 3 years before I was even born.

Who am I? What am I? Will I ever find out?

Who am I?
I’m 34, and an adult woman you would say.
So how can I be lost and don’t know?
I live alone and have my freedom, and own will.
So how can I be lost and don’t know?

What am I?
I might be someones daughter,
I might be someones ex-wife,
I might me someones sister,
but what am I?

Will I ever find out?
No one ever asked me or wanted to know me. Do this, do that, and you will have fun. Why is it fun? Cause you said so?
How about me? What about what I want and I like? Do anyone care?
Always getting told what to do. And how to do it. Being told whats fun, and whats proper, and whats normal. That’s not how life is suppose to be.

Do you want a girlfriend that’s independent and fun and energetic? Or do you want a well trained dog, that you can tell what to do.

I don’t know who I am, or what I am. You never let me find out, do this and do that. How could you love me, when you wanted to change everything about me?

I am someone. Not just a daughter, a sister or a ex-wife. I’m me. I don’t know who that is yet, but I hope I can find it out soon.
If you wanna be my friend or more, you have to like me as I am … I’m not a doll or a dog, you can’t make me something I’m not.

I’m ME - live with it or get lost. 

I’m lost, who will ever find me?
I’m lost, but are you even looking for me?
Find me,
keep me,
treasure me,
and love me.

I’m not a fairy tale. But you can still be a knight, with or without a shining armor. Rescue me.

There is nothing wrong with treating a girl right, be a man not an ape.